September 26, 2008

I got the dumbest email ever today. Someone really wrote these words. I still can't believe it.

I posted a listing on Craigslist about some leftover bricks I am giving away after finishing up our patio.

A man we shall call George responded to the posting with this:
"Hello I saw your post on Craigs List I am interested in picking up some bricks. I just have a few simple questions. What is the diameter of the bricks? I am looking for something to build a small doghouse with in the backyard. My worry about these bricks is that the diameter might be too small allowing insufficient support for the bricks to be placed on top. Also, I have designed some blueprints for the doghouse structure, maybe we could review them together and you could give me some pointers or ideas since you seem to be a brick expert. My plan seems solid but I would like to talk to you about the structure I plan on building to ensure top building quality."

First off, cubes don't have a diameter. Secondly, his dog is about to die after being cooked in a brick doghouse. Thirdly, I have become a brick expert somehow.

So, I think I can get George off of my back by telling him
"I don't think these bricks will work for your project."

He responds:
"They might be able to work for you it is only for a doghouse. If you could just get back to me with the diameter and maybe I can scan my blueprints and we can discuss the best way to construct a fundamentally sound doghouse."

Seriously, this guy has got to go. So, I point out the obvious to him:
"I'm sorry. I'm not an expert. I got these from a demo and just lined them up on the ground to make a patio. I have a few leftover. And bricks don't have a diameter. That is a circular measurement."

George did not respond.